My Goodbye to DeviantArt. Well....some non so great things have happened in my life...and well...you can say i have changed as a person...a person that many of you may not like...Ive become to hate life more, for so far..all i see and feel is pain. As well as me being a different person, but my goals have changed. One goal that has changed is, i no longer want to become an artist, or become at art, the only form of art i will continue to pursue is my art in music. So if my artist goals have disapeared, i should no longer keep this deviantart. If any of you, who actually read this want to keep in contact, your best chances is on AIM (StaticOwnage) or my new email AkaStatic@yahoo.com. Yes, my life is different now, my view on life on different, my goals in life are different, and me in gerneral am a different person. Goodbye DA and goodbye others, its my time to sign off

The Last Farewell,

-Static

Yes, Its basically the title...I Hate mind...My thoughts..Where to start...well...my home life, isnt so great..and whenever something happens...i get upset..then the anger turns to sadness..and from there, my thoughts wonder. They wonder from thought to thought. Non being positive, all being negative. I try not to think of them, but it fails everytime. My heart begins to race, and my head starts to pound. I hate these thoughts...they only cause more trouble in my life, and sometimes others. I Hate myself mentally. Many say, im a very intelligent person...but i can not see it for what i do to myself. My thoughts, they start small, but later explodes. Which...is where i am now, i had an amazing and great day today. but then what happened at home has easily brought me into this state...I hate my mind, my mental thoughts..Like i said earlier people say im intelligent, i give good strong advice, and know what to do in tough situations...but yet..why..why does this happen to me...this state is unbearable. I think such negative things...and i start to worry strongly about certain things...and the only way i can get out of this state is until everything is explain to me, or my questions are answer...but not always that can happen...just right now...im freaking about things i KNOW i shouldnt be freaking out about...but yet for what my thoughts have lead to me too...it still makes me question...and i dont know when ill find out those questions but the only thing to help calm myself was by witting in this, and yet this barley did much...but its something..

Well, where do i start? Ever have something on ur mind? something big on ur heart? Though when u try to think of ways to express ur feelings on the situations, your thoughts keep comming blank. Well thats whats happening to me...I have a certain situation that is on my heart, and i cant think of a way to express on it. I tried writing a journal entry on it..but that didnt work. I tried thinking of something to draw related to it, and that just came up blank as well. I tried writing song lyrics about it, and you guessed it...blank. *sighs* well, i thought it would help if i could write about how i can express the situation, which is pretty much why this entry is being made right now. Some of you who may be reading this might be wondering, "what happened?" Well...i cant really explain...but lets say....Its a huge and major thing in my life..and its probably one of the biggest things that has ever happened to me..and its pretty much why its hard for me to talk about...but I ask of one thing from everyone reading this...Please...pray for me...i really need it right now...It would mean a lot to me...Thank you

Hey guys, well this is a song im really relating to at the moment, so im putting the lyrics below




I Can Wait Forever - Simple Plan


You look so beautiful today
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So i try to find the words that i could say
I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away
And I cant lie
Every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face
And I
Cause I just cant take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait
I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever

You look so beautiful today
It's like every time I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes, I wish that I could stay
And I cant lie
Every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face
And I
Cause I just cant take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait
I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever

I know it feels like forever
I guess that's just the price I gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch
Makes it better
Till that day
Theres nothing else that I can do
And I just cant take it
I just cant take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But i can wait
I can wait forever (I can wait forever)
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever...

Well, some of you who read this may wonder what i mean...well, Its officially July 11th, and its the 3 month anniversary of me and Lily. Though, she is not here, and cant see this entry but i felt like writting it anyway...Lily, wrote me a letter before she went on the trip titled "Do not open until July 11th, 2009" and since thats today i read it, and well...the very first line..i started to cry..and actually, i will admit, im actually crying as i write this, I love you Lily, i know u cant see this now, but i love you, with all my heart. I love the beautiful relationship we have, and i cant wait to spend many more months with you. Happy Three Months, I love you Amy